Session 4 - Meeting Your Child’s Need For A Secure Love

Tim says that grace-based parents transfer a secure love to their children by accepting them as they are, creating a loving and honoring spirit affiliated with your home, and giving them generous helpings of affection.

Here are some practical ways to instill a secure love into your child’s heart.

  1. Find out their Flag Country (Kids Flag Page) so you know who God made them to be.
  2. Once you know their Flag Country, accept their strengths enthusiastically.
  3. Look your child in the eye everyday and tell them that you love them.
  4. Surprise your child by praising him for something about his personality that normally bugs you.
  5. Don’t talk to others about your child’s faults unless the purpose is to get wise advice and the conversation will go no further.
  6. If you need to critique or reprimand your child, pull them aside and do it in an honorable way.
  7. Make sure that name calling is a no-no at your house.
  8. Let your children always hear you talk to your spouse in an honoring way.
  9. Make sure you grab every chance you get to show meaningful affection to your child. Adapt your method to their age, personality and gender, but remember all kids need affection.
  10. Use bedtime to sit with your child and listen to their hearts before you pray with them and kiss them goodnight.


Session 4 - Counterfeit Appeals Can be Seen in These Two Scriptural Accounts

The Temptation of Eve
Genesis 3:1-6

1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” (Security)

2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

4 “You will not surely die,”(Strength) the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Significance)

6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.

The Temptation of Jesus
Matthew 4:3-9

3 The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread...” (Significance)

5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. 6 “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written:

“‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone...’” (Strength)

8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9 “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” (Security)